Male TIIIIMMMMEEE!

Thus ends another semester. The tragedy of it all is that once it is over, one can never recapture the beauty that was.

BULL SHIT.

I'm so ready to be able to wake up when I want to. I'll have time to run, again. Oh, sweet glorious running. I miss you.

I feel though to look forward to what you can do demeans what you've already done.

By you I mean me. Stop getting so full of yourself.

That's not to say future gazing is necessarily a bad thing, but the line must be drawn when it comes at the expense of the past. Throughout our early lives, we as a species look forward to the later points in our life. When we're kids, we want to be teens, teens want to be in college, the collegiate students want to graduate and get a job, and after all that we pretty much just want to be dead.

However, looking in retrospect at all we've accomplished seems to me to be a far more useful avocation.Seemingly infinite paths through life lay before us, but only one past. The future hols so many unknowns, so many avenues as to make on feel small. After all, in comparison with infinity, one can scarcely feel important at all.

The past however, exists in a finite state. It's something we can hold on to. We as people are limited by intellectual boundaries. Perhaps they're put on us by the constructs of modern society; maybe they exist as a biological limitation. I'm not here to comment on why we can't understand it. I'm here to offer an alternative.

Regardless of how sordid that life we've led, there is something to show for each and every one of us. When I look back on what led me to this point in my life, I know everything is ok.

A smart man once said, "God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering." The suffering though makes us what we are. The repeated hammer blows of fate forcing us into a stronger person. As St. Augustine says, it is part of the human experience. There is no way around it.

Jane Austen once said, 'One does not love the place less for having suffered in it.' No truer words could be written.

In the greater scheme of things, I guess, knowing where you're going isn't nearly as important as how you got there.

A picture of me in the past. Scary!!!!

Weirdness

Well... So my girl friend started blogging. YAY!!! I feel like I need to start blogging again now. Or, as my feminist friends would say, TRY TO BLOG BETTER THAN HER AND ASSERT MAIL DOMINANCE.

Actually, most of my feminist friend would keep that to themselves. The ones who wouldn't probably would use the word male instead of mail, anyway.

You'd think I'd go back an change that. Really, though, I feel like the story would be missing it's plotline.

How's life for me? Busy. I've been going to sleep at 3:30 a.m., waking up at 9:30 a.m., and doing the whole shebang all over again. Which gives me about... 1 to 3 ratio for sleep to awake time. Not bad.

Still, it's starting to get hard.

Oops... sorry... inappropriate...

GET IT?!?!

I just had my very last Greek class with all my Grecian homies. I almost teared up as I walked out. I think it's because I hadn't showered that morning. Or brushed my teeth.

Don't look at me like that! I was tired and needed to study!!!!

Speaking of which, every morning when I wake up my mouth tastes like death. I can't figure out why...

I mean... I don't remember having killed anything with my mouth. I guess there was that one time my roommate wasn't there in the morning and I assumed I'd sleep-cannibalized him.

I'd also like to note that the Firefox spell check knew I had misspelled cannibalized. Not sure what that says about the Firefox spell check developers...

I'm out.

Times of Trouble...

Soooo... I just found out my aunt, who I spent a great deal of time with as a child, has lung cancer. I'm pretty shaken up by it.

This is her second time having cancer, but as far as I know it's a lot worse this time. I knew my parents and their siblings were starting to get up there, but I'm just 22. I'm not ready to let go yet!

I've got so much stuff going on this semester, it's just very hard for me to cope with it all. Now this on top of everything else, I expect some sort of meltdown soon....

When it rains, it pours, folks.

In lighter news, I'm going to start doing a flash a week, starting tonight and updated every week. We'll see how it goes. Eventually, I'll have to make an interface to store them all, but for now I think I'll just put it on an HTML file till the weekend.

Hell, that might be one weeks flash, the interface for all the others. A calendar seems to be a pretty popular theme, right? If it's weekly, though, a calendar isn't quite suited. Accordion? Something new?

Oh well, if it's not up now, check back later or maybe tomorrow and see it. Maybe it'll be cool?

A new beginning...

I've started another blog. Again, I know. I'm hoping to talk mostly about Actionscript and web development on here, provided I find time to use either. I've been studying prety hard lately, trying to make it out of college with my GPA intact, so we'll see how that goes.

Lately, I've been using a class package called APE. It's an acronym for Actionscript Physics Engine. It provides 2 dimensional physics, and for what it does it does it nicely. However, I've found it lacking a specific ability I need.

See, the idea I had when I started messing with it was to create a game where a man is tethered to a weight, like an escapee prisoner. Thus he moves faster inside the constraints of the tether, but when he reaches the end of the tether he is slowed down by the weight. He was also going to be able to throw it, and all other sorts of fanciness.

The problem is that you need a sort of... rope constraint, of which APE has none programmed in. It has a spring constraint, which works amazing for what it does. Really, the features there I have no problem with. I only wish it had a rope constraint built in. I thought about adding one of my own, and even started looking over the APE source to brainstorm an expansion of the class. Now with classes in full swing though, I really don't have the time.